Christine Carter, Ph.D., in her post “Raising Cheaters” , states that “we are raising a generation of cheaters.”  Children today are exposed to cheating on nearly a daily basis:  in sports, at school, and also in politics and business.  One study reported that more than 60% of students in 9^th and 11^th grades say that they cheat in school, and another stated 75-98% of today’s college students report that they cheat, up from 20% in the 1940s.  Why the increase in cheating, and why do children cheat in the first place?  For one thing, there are so many different ways to cheat than just the old standbys of copying somebody else’s work, obtaining test answers from a student who has already taken the test, or writing down information and peeking at it during a test.  In Christy Callahan’s article, “Is Your Child a Cheater?,”, she lists some of the newer technologically-driven ways to cheat, such as using hand-held devices such as cell phones, iPods, or calculators to store answers , and using the internet to find pre-written papers or to participate in chat rooms where answers are being shared.

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One of the best educators in the world of math, Marilyn Burns, has been working for years on quick ways to check whether children have grasped the big ideas of math. Her conclusion? Often, students with fantastic test scores still lack basic concepts! To see the difference between understanding and merely calculating!

Read more on Real Math Mastery, Part 1…

With a seemingly steady decline in sportsmanship and rise in outrageous behavior in professional sports, it’s not surprising that there has also been an increase in poor sportsmanship (such as trash-talking and violence) in youth sports.   In some cases, this lack of sportsmanship has carried over to other non-sporting activities as well.  In addition, children are bombarded by media messages using a “winning is everything” or “win at all costs” philosophy that can contribute to the lack of respect for others during friendly competition or even in everyday interactions.  But, like it or not, competition is a part of life, and teaching children to compete with grace and respect is an important lesson – for both children and parents.

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My five-year-old grandniece is making great progress in math. How can I tell? As we played with our little toy town, I asked, “You said we have five cars waiting for gas? If these two others drive over, how many will there be?” “Six…seven…seven!” she replied. She has the major math concept of counting on! She didn’t go back to the start, touching each of them from one to seven. She knew that she could start at five and keep going.

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Here’s the biggest non-secret in helping your toddler become a mathematician:

PLAY

That’s right, just play with your child. The second big non-secret:

MODEL

That’s it. No expensive electronics, no workbooks. Just the kinds of things moms and dads have been doing for centuries. If there’s any secret, it’s being a little big conscious of the three big building blocks to math knowledge that toddlers can begin to absorb.

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When I was younger, I loathed making mistakes.  I always wanted to do everything perfectly, and fretted over the possibility of making what I would have called a “stupid” mistake on anything from school work, to sports, to social interactions.  It took me many years to come to terms with the fact that no matter how much I paid attention to details, no matter how hard I tried, mistakes are a part of life, and they’re bound to happen at some point.  It took me even longer to realize that mistakes are tremendous learning opportunities.  That’s not to say that I now fully embrace making mistakes to the point of being sloppy, but when I make a mistake, I don’t get worked up about it; instead, I try to find the learning in the error.

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Before I arrived on the scene (I’m the youngest of five), my parents had an ironclad rule: Saturday mornings were chore time. My brothers were all given assignments. When they finished a chore, they called for inspection and, when they passed, got a new job to complete. Sound fair?

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Energy: Parenting requires tons of it. Sometimes, our children seem to have more than we do. Being out of energy means being out of patience, whether we are 4 or 40 years old.

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When it comes to discipline, treating each child the same simply isn’t fair! Think for example about the difference in how time outs affect children who are more extraverted (are energized by interacting and engaging in activities) and more introverted (are energized by solitude and reflection). Send an Introvert to his or her room and the silent reaction might be Yes! I get to avoid everyone and all that noise! In contrast, ten minutes alone for an Extravert can seem torturous!

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Who doesn’t like being rewarded for their hard work?  From stickers on exemplary school papers to receiving money for good grades, that little extra incentive not only makes the work all worth it, but also motivates children and builds their self-esteem through positive reinforcement, right?   Unfortunately, this methodology may be wrong.  According to the blog post “Are Parents & Teachers Raising Teenagers to be Approval Junkies?” author Kelly Pfeiffer states that using methods like token economies and reward systems that became popular in the 1970s actually create teenagers and young adults who do not feel confident and secure, as intended, but rather who are approval junkies.  Pfeiffer refers to a couple of books to reinforce this stance.  In one example, Punished by Rewards (Houghton Mifflin, 1993) by Alfie Kohn, the author reviews many studies that showed using methods like reward systems and even verbal praise does not ensure a child continues to behave in the same manner in the long run.  Instead, these children’s self-esteem becomes based not on their own internal self-evaluation, but rather on the judgment of others.  Pfeiffer also refers to findings by a team at the University of Ohio and published online in the Journal of Personality.  In their studies, researchers found that the most desirable craving for young adults from the choices of sex, a favorite food, seeing a best friend, drinking alcohol, or getting a paycheck was one of those that gave a boost to the student’s self-image.  These studies suggest that approval can be addicting, just like drugs and alcohol.

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