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Discipline Disagreements: When Parents Don’t See Eye-to-Eye

Finding a discipline strategy that resonates with your own personal values and that is effective is oftentimes difficult enough, but if both parents can’t agree on a discipline philosophy, nobody in the family wins.  In the article “When Parents Disagree on Discipline,”  author Amy McCready discusses five strategies that can help bring both parents closer together on the discipline spectrum.  McCready’s suggestions are as follows:

  1. Identify the parenting and discipline facets on which you and your partner do agree
  2. Look into the reasons you disagree on particular parenting and discipline issues.  After understanding the reasons why you disagree, you can start to move toward agreement
  3. Start small by beginning with the non-negotiable areas for your family, such as safety, healthy, and shared family values.  Agree on the boundaries for these areas and make sure they are communicated clearly to your entire family
  4. When faced with the day-to-day discipline challenges, ask yourself this important question: “What do we want our child to LEARN from this experience or discipline opportunity?”  Thinking about this question and the results you desire help you to focus on what’s best for your child, and what will create the best teaching moments
  5. If none of the above tips seem to help parents move towards common ground regarding discipline and parenting, McCready suggests considering an objective third party resource such as a family therapist

Another great resource that can help with parenting and discipline strategies is the Kidtelligent assessment!  The Kidtelligent assessment can give you insight into your child and offer suggestions based on his or her unique personality type.  Once the Kidtelligent assessment brings to light certain personality traits of your child, both parents can use this information to develop parenting strategies that not only work for both of you, but for your child as well.  Find out more at, or  on Facebook at

Sarah is a guest mom writer for Kidtelligent. If you are interested in submitting an article to be shared on the Kidtelligent Blog and Facebook please email us at