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From a Mothers Perspective A “Good Parenting” Handbook

According to Laurence Stienberg, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at Temple University, “parenting is one of the most researched areas in the entire field of social science” – and with good reason!  Good parenting helps foster qualities like honesty, motivation, intellectual curiosity, and empathy.  It helps to protect children from developing abusive behaviors, as well as depression and anxiety.  The relationship between a parent and a child is reflected in the child’s actions – both good and bad aspects.  Additionally, parents oftentimes base their parenting actions on gut reactions, or on the same tactics and belief systems their own parents used.  Sometimes this type of instinctual parenting may serve both the child and the parent well; however, some parents naturally have better instincts than others and some may have had a harsher upbringing than they’d like to give to their own children.

In the WebMD article “10 Commandments of Good Parenting”, author Jeanie Lerche Davis refers to Dr. Steinberg’s book entitled “The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting”  Dr. Steinberg stresses that these 10 rules are not just for parents, but for any adult who interacts with children.  The 10 principles are as follows, and are further explained in the article:

  1. What you do matters
  2. You cannot be too loving
  3. Be involved in your child’s life
  4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child
  5. Establish and set rules
  6. Foster your child’s independence
  7. Be consistent
  8. Avoid harsh discipline
  9. Explain your rules and decisions
  10. Treat your child with respect

The above principles can be applied to children of all ages.  Dr. Steinberg also lists some “rules” specific to parenting teenagers.  In the article “5 Easy Ways to Show Your Teen You Care” on www.parentfurther.com,, author Jolene Roehlkepartain cites the following tips recommended by Dr. Steinberg:

  1. Don’t live in the past
  2. Spend time with your child
  3. Take your child’s problems seriously
  4. Help your child get to know you
  5. Keep interactions warm and light

This article finishes with a strong reminder from Dr. Steinberg: “Your child will not be harmed by being told every single day that you love him. Your child will not be harmed by being reminded that she is a source of endless happiness for you. Your child will not be hurt by being showered with physical affection, with care, and with praise when it’s heartfelt and well deserved. Don’t hold back your affection or act aloof because you think your child will become spoiled by all the attention.”

Dr. Steinberg certainly provides a wonderful framework for parents, with many books and resources that can help parents raise a healthy, well-adapted child.  Kidtelligent is also another amazing resource that can help!  If you are having difficulty figuring out how to adapt your parenting to fit your child, or how to foster your child’s independence, the Kidtelligent assessment can give you insight into your child’s personality and offer suggestions based on their unique type.  Find out more at www.kidtelligent.com, and follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Kidtelligent.

Sarah is a guest mom writer for Kidtelligent. If you are interested in submitting an article to be shared on the Kidtelligent Blog and Facebook please email us at info@kidtelligent.com

  • Parent Further

    Hi, ParentFurther.com here. Thanks for the blog mention! This is a very informative article. We are also big fans of Dr. Steinberg.