The term “free-range parenting,” coined by Lenore Skenazy, describes that 1950-60’s era where children, no longer tied down by farm chores or factory shifts, were free to bike across town, climb trees, float across swamps on homemade rafts, and build forts far from adult supervision. Kidnappings were actually just about as common, but they didn’t get worldwide press coverage as they do today. Broken bones were less common because children took risks earlier on in life, from lower obstacles, and learned natural caution!

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Allison is a Kidtelligent parent who used the Kidtelligent system to get a better understanding of how to parent her daughter. Allison’s daughter tended to have attributes more like her father than herself. Interestingly, Allison was able to better understand her husband in the process!

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Although there are days when your child may be pushing all of your buttons and you feel as though your reactions are beyond your control, it truly is a daily (or perhaps even moment to moment) choice not to yell, to stay calm, to choose love, and to parent positively.   Even still, all parents get angry at their children.  Anger is a type of message, in and of itself is not necessarily a problem, except that in the heat of the moment it is difficult to see the situation for what it is and react thoughtfully to it.  In the blog post “How can you stay cool when your kid acts up?” by Dr. Laura Markham at ahaparenting.com  she highlights five tips for staying level-headed when your child is acting up:

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Even with all of its rewards and joys, parenting can also be incredibly draining – especially for those parents who tend toward introversion with a child whose interaction needs far exceed your own.  So how do you best parent when your child craves and recharges from interaction as much as you crave and recharge from solitude?  R.L. LaFever’s post “Tips for Introverted Parents Raising Extroverted Kids” is an article I’ve re-read and referred to several since I am the mother of at least one extroverted son and the wife to a very extroverted husband.

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In this chatty, busy, extroverted world, those of us who are more reserved may feel at times as though we have a personality malfunction.  For a child who tends more toward introversion, trying to fit in to our bustling society may lend to them feeling a lack of confidence and sense of belonging.  In the blog post “5 Things to Know About Raising Introverted Children,” author Kelly Bartlett shares some ideas that parents can use to better suit their more quiet child’s needs:

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“Come on, hurry up!  We’re going to be late!”  I find myself saying these words almost without thinking.  I despise being late, but it seems despite my best efforts, I am always in a race against the clock.  I also have a tendency to over-schedule, and although so far it’s only been for my own activities and responsibilities, and not for my children, I know it affects the whole family.  For these reasons, Dr. Laura Markham’s post “11 Ways Your Child Loses When You Rush Him Through Life” on ahaparenting.com   really struck a chord with me.

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“You’re okay!”  “See – it was easy!”  “This isn’t a big deal!”  Phrases such as these might be at the tip of your tongue (or may even at times pass your lips) when your children are upset, whining, or expressing other uncomfortable or strong feelings.  I know that despite my best efforts, phrases such as these seem to have popped right out of my mouth when I’ve felt frustrated, tired, or annoyed with a situation with my boys.  But as parents, and by using phrases such as these, we’re just trying to teach our children resilience; after all, the real world isn’t easy, right?  Actually, using phrases such as these actually minimize our children’s feelings, leaving them to feel confused or helpless.  Minimizing children’s feelings may also lead them to try to figure out how to manage their emotions on their own, sometimes leading a child to hit, push, break things, or engage in other behaviors such as drugs and alcohol.   In the post “5 Reasons Not to Minimize Your Child’s Feelings” Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD of Kidlutions  offers up five reasons NOT to minimize your child’s feelings:

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I was only about 8 years old when I took over the cookie-baking chore of two batches a week to feed four big brothers. If that sounds young to you, understand that Mom was never very far away and played a role in clean-up (measuring flour takes practice!) But, like all my brothers, I left home knowing how to cook for myself.

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During our hectic, overscheduled days filled with play dates, sports practices, birthday parties, homework, and endless errands, not to mention the constant bombardment of electronic stimulation by cell phones, iPads, and hand-held games, having a time and space for quiet contemplation may feel like a foreign, but definitely welcomed, concept.  Katherine Lockett from Creative Playhouse wrote a guest post on Not Just Cute called “Creating a Quiet Space for Children” with wonderful suggestions about how to create a serene space for your child.

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Have you been sucked into the world of Pinterest yet?  I personally have been trying to resist, sneaking in only a few minutes here and there, but I’ve been on enough to create a board of cute, inspiring play and activity ideas for my boys.    Sometimes in my few minutes of pinning ecstasy, I’ve found myself thinking, “Do I pin this activity, or not?  It looks so fun, but my boys really don’t like to do that kind of activity.”  Christie Burnett’s article “But My Child Doesn’t Like to Play ____” on childhood101.com  addresses this very scenario.

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